New Year day 3

I originally wrote this in January, not sure why I didn’t post it…

So I find myself starting over spiritually and creatively. Slowly renewing practices and trying to find the energy and courage to start moving forward again. I have looked at the period of increasing withdrawal and inward turning and escapism of the last few years and labelled it depression.

I am not sure if that is what it was exaclty, but it seems to fit the bill.

I have been trying to reconnect with people on places like Facebook and in my real life social circles… pick up some dropped connections renew some and just try get back to myself.

Slowly i have been finding my old sense of humor and mischeif and joy at life again. Its tough because you feel like there is such a wide gulf between where you would like to be emotionally and where you are. There are days I have a lot of trouble just motivating myself out the door for work.

But I breathe, and lately try to ground and center, and say a little prayer to the Holy Powers and keep soldiering on.

More later folks,
Pax

4 thoughts on “New Year day 3

  1. With all of these trying and uncertain times, we all face a lack of motivation and willpower, but as you have been doing, we all have to continue to push through. Sometimes we do have to let God take the wheel and sit in the passenger seat. Keep praying and know that you will get through all the troubling times that are upon you.

  2. This is my favorite post so far. It is intrepid spring flowers, rising through the snow, so much more courage in their actions than their colorful crowns lead you to believe they have the fortitude for. Tenuous hope and intrinsic faith in the passing of time. I fall in love with you a little more each time i return to read it again, for surely this is humaning at its core.

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