I bought a couple of different boxes of Sandalwood incense sticks recently. One of them seems to refuse to burn for more than a few moments and then burns out, leaving an unfinished length of incense there waiting for me to return the fires of my attention and intentions to it. The other seems to burn itself up and out all too quickly…
The scent of Sandal wood drifts through Greyhaven, strands of smoke dancing to the rythms of Blues music and the tidal rumblings of the dishwasher. The husbear and I are puttering on our computers. Candles have been lit and offerings poured for the Holy Powers.
I feel like I am returning to myself, again.
I’ve been musing lately that my journey as a Polytheist and Witch, and as a Unitarian Universalist… hell my entire spiritual process… has been a terribly on-again-off-again affair. I keep losing track of my path and myself, but then after some wandering I find my way again. … maybe, given the power and magick of words and naming, that’s the hazard of labeling one spiritual and religious process/progress a ‘journey’?
I sometimes despair of finding my Work and Will in this world. I feel like I keep losing track of things, keep being pulled under, keep facing the same challenges. Keep losing what precarious balance I have. We all struggle with balance. Balance between our desires and resources, balance between the miraculous/magickal and the everyday, balance between work and life.
Is it all some mental delusion and fools errand?
This post by The Southern Fried Witch helped me put some perspective on the recent dire musings.
The cycles of the Seasons, the rhythms of the tides, day and night. Nature teaches us that there are cycles and tides and complexities and miracles aplenty in this world of ours. Action and rest, activity and dormancy, these things intertwine in the Universe around us and in our lives.
Maybe this ongoing search for stability, for balance, just maybe that IS my Work in the world in this lifetime. Perhaps I am wrestling with the same lesson over and over again until I can learn it and move on in this lifetime, or the next.
In the moment, I really don’t know. I don’t need to know, I just need to keep journeying on, and trying to pay attention to the signs along the way and not lose myself. Tonight, The Holy Powers have been said hello too, the dishes are getting done, and some reaching out to dear friends near and far is about to get done.
Blessings on your Journey’s all,
Pax / Geoffrey