So much going on in my life and heart right now….
Money is particularly tight as The Fabulous Jonathan and I weather our way through a very rainy wet Spring that promises a wet warm Summer for Orlando this year. We are practicing recipes for a Wedding Reception we’ve agreed to cater for friends, and trying to make short term decisions that don’t feed our spirits but will keep a roof over our heads so that Long Term, we can dig deep wells and nourish our minds and bodies and spirits down the road.
My own continued wrestling with Writers and Bloggers block, and the very similar blocks I’ve had for a long time about my Spiritual Practices, have been deciphered.
My writing, and to a lesser degree my practices, have been blocked because in 2009 even as I was ~finally~ achieving my dream of being a published writer and author… the magazine pretty much folded and my relationship with The Big Guy finally shattered into a thousand pieces. Why keep trying if (you think at the time) the only thing you run into is failure and unhappiness?
(It was a little, ok… a LOT, more complex on the relationship front… today let’s sacrifice back-story for the core issues/elements of the story shall we?)
Suffice it to say I did not react well at the time…
Then too, sometime over the last couple of years, my Spiritual Practices became less about Connecting to The Holy Powers, and more about Enduring very stressfull and difficult times at work and in my personal life. Especially through the Summer of last year. Then, as the stressors were removed from my life by changes in circumstance (sometimes to be replaced by others, mostly centered around money and poverty) I had lost on some level the framework or relationship to Practice as connection.
Slowly, surely, I am connecting again. I am beginning to write, even if a few sentences, each day.
I am finishing up the last of a bean soup I made a few weeks ago while Jon was terribly sick. I’ve been doing a lot of pleasure reading, childrens and young adult books and old favorites and some treasured sci-fi series. I’ve also been catching up on some shows and otherwise relaxing.
Relaxing, and Reconnecting.