Hello Dear Friends,
So the scent of Lavender incense wafts through the apartment as the Laundry machine rumbles and I sort some laundry into appropriate places and piles… I sip my coffee and breathe into my Center and contemplate my journey and journal…
I have started listing a whole bunch of things in my, until recently, on-again off-again journal/diary; the categories are based on things I desire to do with my time and life…
I note when I wake up, what work hours if any I have, the date (or when I work the overnight the dates), and the moon phase.
Then it’s on to the categories of activity I am increasing my awareness of and working on including in my life..
Prayer: any and all formal prayers like my 8 virtues prayer and the ‘Who is this Flower above me’ prayer are listed, as well as some notation if I engaged in any other prayer that day…
Energy: any basic energy work or magickal exercises are listed here… splatter vision, dropped attention, grounding, basic centering, sheilding, …. sometimes Soul Alignment work although that usually flows into
Chakra & CLF: Any work with my Chakras and the Cleansing Life Force exercise variations that I practice, my variation on the CLF seems to also work to align my Soul… although I occasionally experiment…
Meditation: here I list the type and how long I meditated… if I did, still exploring why I have such trouble stilling myself… perhaps its the lack of,
Physical Excercise: At this stage anything beyond my all too sedentary routine counts… went shopping and walked through the grocery store? Counts. Walked around the block for a cup of coffee or whatever? Counts…
Nutrition: Everything I eat or drink in a day… whatever it is… no judgements just recording… food and beverages; I have also been studying up on proper nutrition and trying to change my diet, but even when I am off the wagon at least I am maintaining my awareness of what I am consuming so I can go back and go…”Wow, ok last week was a carb-a-palooza… why?!”
Writing: I have identified writing as an activity the nourishes and nurtures my spirit, so even if I just am able to shoot off an e-mail I include it here although I am trying to make space in my day where I sit and write… even if it’s just jotting down lines or ideas or making a list…
Professional Development: This is where discussions with my manager about training or the company, or work on my L:inkedIn profile or Resume or other professional life related work goes…
Journaling: Separate from writing because this is recording observations on any of the above that strikes my fancy or writing down ideas.
Now I rarely get everything done each day. I am happy that, with the exception of one day I slacked after having a very busy 22 hour day, I have been journalling almost everything I’ve eaten in the last couple of weeks and that I have been writing keeping track of all of the above daily.
This is where the forgiveness comes in. See in years past when I have tried to change or improve things I would tend to despair and give up at the first mis-step or the first few times I failed to follow through on my wishes for more exercise or healthier eating… or to establish regular spiritual practices.
One of the lessons I have learned is that it is not about succeeding in the 1st or 2nd or even the 32nd try… it is about returning, again and again, to those things that nurture and nourish us in body and soul and help us along the path to where we want (or need) to be. Instead of despairing or giving up or telling myself that I am a fuck-up or a failure or that I can’t do it… instead of all that doom filled negative self-fulfilling prophesying; I write, I smile, I breath and I remind myself that the fear and the doubt are honest reactions but that they do not define me… I look at the entries and I ask myself the why’s and wherefore’s of my actions and reactions.
I see for example that I am rather good at finding ways to include energy work, prayers, and chakra work in my day; physical exercise is another matter. This leads to questions and contemplation of my motivations, my living situation, and the many many influences affecting my life right now.
I feel like I have finally flipped the bird to the overculture and am begining to live in a way that will help lead me to a healthier and more authentic and prosperous future.
So that is what is working for me right now.
What in your life and practice and journey is working for you?