Struggle

” For mine is the spirit of ecstasy, and mine is joy on Earth, and love unto all beings is my law.” ~ Charge of The Goddess by Doreen Valliente

Dear friends,

I came across some news today about how the Attorney General of Florida, who is running for Governor, has recently come out stating that same-sex foster parenting should not be legal.  The most frustrating thing about this is how he appears to be doing this solely to guarantee votes…    I wanted to lash out somehow.

Then Cat Chapin-Bishop mentioned this fascinating Quaker essay on the prevalence of hate in the U.S. today on her Facebook.

So much hate and anger in the world and so much to outrage or upset or pull anger and venom to the surface of my own soul.

Ironically enough I have been working with my Heart Chakra of late, and so have been working most directly with the capacity to love.

The desire to be a person whose words and actions are worthy of Their perfect love and perfect trust, to walk in beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, and mirth and reverence; this desire is so often at odds with my own inner feelings.  Seeing, and being the target, of so much bigotry and ignorance, seeing laws crafted that deny me rights based on lies and misdirections, seeing politicians and religious leaders who should know better turn and use falsehoods to spread fear and mistrust in an already strife-torn world.  How can I not speak up, how can I not get angry and not want to lash out?  Well, I do.

Then I breathe.

Hating the other is not the answer, even when they act with hatefulness towards me.   I know this, and yet I struggle with it so often.  Some news item will come across my path or someone will say something that will be like the slap of a glove to my face challenging me to react.   Reacting with venom and anger and outrage and cruelty.   Time was I did.  I have a temper and was taught to clamp down on it from a young age.   For years just held my anger back, burying it…deep… but never really dealing with it.

Now, now I try to breathe.  I breathe into my Center and into my Heart Chakra and into my Ground and I try to just let myself be angry and keep it to my self for a while.   Neither lashing out with it, nor burying it, simply letting it be; I let myself simply feel angry for a while.

I ask myself and my anger questions… “Why is this making me so angry?   Why do I want to lash out and hurt them back?  Why am I feeling hurt?  Why is this personal?  Can I react in a way that isn’t just going to bring more unhappiness and pain and strife into the world?  Can I take the energy of this anger and turn it into something productive and positive that will help me to deal with this issue in a way that would make me and the Holy Powers proud?”

I have similar struggles with envy, and jealousy, and with all kinds of thoughts and feelings that do not fall into the Love end of the emotional spectrum.

As always, again and again, I take a moment to breathe the breath of life, and I pray, and I seek to discern.

I have often wondered why more Witchy leaning Pagans don’t go on and on about The Law of The Goddess.  You would think that after 50 plus years that there would be a LOT of writing and wisdom teaching about Love.  At least the beginnings of a body of literature reminiscent of the Buddhist’s writings on Loving Kindness.

Why not?
Peace, and curiosity,

Pax

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