(names have been changed to protect, well, ME!)
Incubus: “______ has just informed me she’s a Priestess, of ~The Celtic Religion~….“
Pax: (blink, blink) “Am I to take it from your tone that she isn’t referring to some sort of Celtic Reconstructionism?”
Incubus: (shaking head sadly) “No, no she is not.”
Pax: (sighs) “I see….”
My Older Brother S___ visiting my Dad and I one day enters my room, takes a look at something on my books shelf and begins to shake his head.
S___: “Oh, Geoff…Geoffrey, (disappointed sigh) I can’t believe your involving yourself with such… paganism.”
Since I had been out as a Pagan for a while and it was MY bookshelf I looked up at him confused.
Pax: “S____, you’re going to have to be a little more specific. There’s actually a whole lot of Paganism on that bookshelf. What is it you’re objecting to exactly?”
He proceeds to pick up a copy of the Book of Mormon, of all things, that I had gotten for free from some missionaries on campus at U.U.A. and was reading out of curiosity. And give me a worried and ashamed look, as only a student of our Father’s could.
Pax: “There’s surprisingly little begetting, all things considered.”
Pax: “What’s wrong?”
Nightbird: “So at the property I work at there are these rent paying bottom feeders who think they’re Witches and have figured out that I’m one and now they think that we have some sort of special connection, and their apartment is a nasty…. Pax, I mean NASTY. They keep complaining about how there’s something not right and bad vibes and I’m like ‘why don’t you try cleaning it?’ and they are all ‘well we tried burning some sage…’ yeah, sage… or something….and I’m ‘No, I mean cleaning, like with a vacuum and a mop and a shovel? And try NOT having 7 people in a 2 bedroom apt….’ and they get all offended and scuttle off.”
Pas: (Gasps as the lighting of inspiration floods his warped mind) “Do all of the apartments have individual air ducts,.separate from each other?!”
Nightbird: (smiling curiously) “Yeah, why?”
Pax: (chuckling evilly) “Well, have maintenance go in while everyone’s out and put some strobe effect in some of the lights and a hidden camera and speakers and a fog machine. The next time they are trying to be Witchy hit the strobe and the fog and have this scary ass voice coming at them from all directions ‘GEEEEHT OUUUUWT….’, better yet wait till they’ve ‘smudged’ to do it.”
Nightbird: (smiling delightedly and clapping her hands together in front of her like a delighted child on Christmas morning as the fierce fires of unholy glee glow within her eyes) “Our Head of Maintenance is an ex Theater Tech….this could work! Pax I love you!”