Notes on the Journey: 12/11/2009

Dear Friends and Pagani,
I am wrestling, lately, with the fact that from years of unfortunate circumstances I carry a LOT of anger in my heart.  I had this realization last night as I was at work… one of the reasons I am enjoying working the night shift at the motel is I work alone and have a lot of time during the week to think, to study, and to work and engage in some spiritual work as I seek to engage my Work.

I don’t want to get all emo with you all, but I’ve been hurt a lot over the years; partly due to some folks being petty or bullying, and partly my own complicity ~ having been raised in a fairly disfunctional household left me unprepared for life outside it.  So I carry a lot of Anger, and Hurt, and while I have wrestled with my Fear and large chunks of my Self-Doubt, there is more work to do.

Lately, that work has consisted of…

  • Continuing my journaling and engagement with the Work presented in Kissing The Limitless.
  • Continuing to re-engage with daily spiritual practices, currently prayer and working with my Chakra’s.
  • Continuing to re-immerse myself within my Witchcraft, both my reading and re-reading several of the books I have, and copying poetry, visualizations, magickal operations, and ritual and other important things I like into my new Notebook of Shadows
  • Opening my Craft to new ideas, currently those presented in T. Thorn Coyle’s Evolutionary Witchcraft…. and working through some other books here and there.
  • Lighting incense and making offerings to the Lady and Lord, as I also wrestle with how to make offerings and build my relationship with the Theoi.

As I do these many things I have realized that a portion of my Work in this lifetime is to work within and build community, within Paganism and between Pagans and the larger community, and also just to delve into and participate in Spiritual and Religious community.  So I am getting more involved at my U.U. Church, I will be joining officially sometime near Imbolg, delightfully enough!  I also signed up for the PeaceNext site which is a social networking website affiliated with the Parliament of World Religions.

I keep breathing into my Center, and now my Chakras, and I pray, and I work, and I write, and I pursue my work and Work.

I also flirt and discuss things with the cute and funny and furry and Witchy new BF, the amazing Jonothan.  I am also trying to reach out to some of my local friends and acquaintances and to also reach out to my friends across the country.  I am paying my bills and even able to have a little money left over between paychecks… things are good.

Peace,

Pax

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