Getting things sorted out, be back soon!

Hey folks,

So I’m staying in Orlando, just need to find an apt or a room for rent.   In the meantime I am organizing and packing things for storage and moving.  I am also making some new friends and acquaintances outside “OUR’ old social circle, in addition to trying to keep in touch with the ones in it.

I also have GOT to get off my but and actually call some of my Alaska peeps, but the 4 hour time difference has been a killer lately… especially now that I am working almost full-time hours again…  I’ve had some movement in the full-time-job hunt and in another week or two have some potential offers in the pipeline.

That’s all for now friends, netizens, and Pagani,

Peace,

Pax

Advertisements

“You like me! You really, really like me!!!”

witchawardSo Svartesol over at Vanic Thoughts has awarded me the Real Witch Achievement Award, orignated by Juniper over at Walking The Hedge.

I would like to thank Svartesol for this award.  I also want to that the Lady and Lord of Witchcraft, as well as the Theoi and the Netjer of Alexandria, and of course, mom!!

(snif, sob)

In addition to being given this honor, I am expected to pay it forward…

The rules are as follows…

This is meant to be a show of respect and/or appreciation, but it can still be delivered with some affectionate humour and so forth

This award can go to any website, group, blog, individual, podcast, organization, magazine or newsletter, forum, networking site and so forth that you feel has done a good service to the community or added something important, special, unique etc to the Community.

~Post the award on your website, blog, etc in some way. Remember to thank your mom!

~Mention the person who gave you the award.

~Select three new recipients of this award you feel are worthy.

~Send them the award via email, by commenting on their forum, by printing it and handing it to them, etc

~Announce your choices on your website, in your magazine, on your podcast etc

Juniper in the post announcing the first awards….

And the Real Witch Achievement Award Winners (Chrysalis edition) Winner’s are….


The Wigglian Way

This  Canadian and Wiccan podcast at 50+ episodes and going strong, podcasts a blend of Music and Humor and Discussion and has really taken a place as one of the major Pagan Podcasts in North America.  I listen to them every episode and you can hardly shake a stick amongst the podkin without hitting one of their fans.  (not that I would suggest riling the podkin up in such a manner, mind you!)

MetaPagan

This blog uses delicious tagging to aggregate the Best in Pagan Blogs and content across the net.  The best part is that anyone can place a post they find into the feed!   They are providing an important clearing house for ideas and writing from across the Pagan Internet!  (Mind you, the editors tend to discourage individuals from posting their OWN posts to the feed, it’s meant to be more of a “hey look at this it’s cool” space than a “LOOK AT MEEEE!” kind of space, but if you’ve written something outstanding… well they’ve been know to let that slide every once in a great while….)

The Wild Hunt

The Wild Hunt has become THE Pagan community news site.  Jason blogs about news stories that relate to, affect, or feature Pagans, Paganism and many aspects of the Occult community.  The comments section is often a hotbed of discussion and opinion on current events in, and relating to, the contemporary Pagan movement.


I would like to thank Juniper for creating this award, and Svartesol for awarding it to me.  I would also like to thank Mojo & Sparrow,  Jason & Yvonne & Cat & Chas, and Jason again, for their inspiration and their unique contributions to the Pagan Community!

Peace,

Pax

Practicing Silence and Stillness

Dear Friends and Pagani,

So, in the midst of everything else lately, I finally made it to the Thursday Night Buddhist Meditation Group that meets at my local U.U….

Despite having written about meditation as a part of regular spiritual practice, and despite having regularly meditated in the past, and despite knowing the importance and benefits… I have a very noisy mind, and a great deal of trouble cultivating stillness within myself.  I theorized that it might help to jump-start my practice, and break my noisy mind and fidgeting flesh to the twin yokes of Stillness and Silence to meditate with others.

It is, as I mentioned, a Buddhist Meditation group and they practice Vipassana (Insight) meditation in the Theraveda Tradition.  Everyone sat in a circle of chairs in the Church library.   We went around the circle and each of us checked in for the week or introduced ourselves.  Then we meditated for 25 minutes.  Then there was a short reading on the topic of Non-Attachment to Ideas and Beliefs.  (here, and here, for more)

“Then we meditated for 25 minutes…”

Strange how simple it sounds…

You sit,still, silent.  You should avoid moving, except for a slight movement if you start to feel some pain in the body you may mindfully shift position to relieve the pain.  Your are silent, and focusing on your breathing, striving to keep it quiet. I settled into my oft turned too pattern of in-through-the-nose, and out-through-the-mouth.

Your mind may wander, and that is o.k., when it does so you are to let those thoughts go and return to your breathing, and the silence, and the stillness.

I thought I was relaxed.  The lights were turned down low and there was a tea-light candle lit to help even out the amount of light in the room.  I was seated with my arms at my sides and my, incredibly sore and work-tired-and-tense, feet up on a Zafu.  Then we started…

My throat was the first part of my body to seemingly rebel against  the program.  The muscles in it felt like they desperately wanted or needed movement and speech!  I swallowed a few times, trying to let this strange sensation just be and relax my throat and remember my breathing.  My mind, however, wandered into thoughts of how much I speak during the day… how often I fill silence with speech, even when alone, rather than just thinking… and it’s usually stuff that on some level is meant to distract me from feelings or thoughts I am uncomfortable with… I fill my days with so much noise…

Then I realized that those were thoughts and I returned to my breathing and stillness and silence.  In through the nose, and out through the mouth.  Focusing on my breath and letting the rhythm of send me back to stillness and silence… then I started… somewhere along the way I had almost lulled to sleep!

I carry tension with me so much of the time!  I am hardly ever really, really relaxed unless I am going to bed or asleep.  When did I stop relaxing… was it related to the deterioration of my recently ended relationship with The Big Guy?  What about….

Those are thoughts….

In through the nose, out through the mouth.  In, and, out.   Breath.  Stillness.  Silence.

My ears feel stuffed up, or, is that a ringing?  My life is so filled with noise, in the absence of it do I simply find ways to create it?  What is it that causes me to flee…. and I am thinking agian…

Nose.  Mouth.  Breath. ???

Stillness and silence and quiet and calm.

I didn’t sit in the hand of Goddess or anything, but I was able to reach a place of Deep Peace and calm, I still fidgeted a bit, but it was the mindful repositioning rather than thinking and reacting about it; and with mindfulness and attention, a sense of clarity and calm and quiet.

I did not fall into the Silence and Stillness so much as dive struggling into it, like trying to reach the bottom of a pool full of pudding, but I found some small measure of …calm.

After the after meditation discussion, I continued to have a feeling of deep peace and calm and joy.  I decided to drive home without turning on the car radio… I enjoyed a measure of silence…

I haven’t sat in full meditation in the last couple of days… but I have… reached into the memory and experience of it?  Focusing on my breath for a little while and trying to resettle to cloak of quiet and calm upon my shoulders once more.

I think that I shall sit tonight, at the close of the day… I wonder if my mistake before was to try and sit at the beginning of the day when my monkey mind is all unruly and…. those, are thoughts…

Peace,

Pax

Next Move ???

So all sorts of friends and family have been asking me what’s my next move.  I keep telling them that I am taking a few days to just…be.  Get on a more even keel and then I’ll start making some decisions.  It’s amazing to me to see how many folks are wanting me to make big life-changing decisions, more cross-country moves and stuff, in reaction too this situation.  I don’t get that.

I also am having to wrestle with the petty insecure part of myself, beat it back down into submission and continue acting in accord with all those values and ethics that have been previously discussed?

I could stay in Central Florida, I could go to Oregon (apparently its some sort of Contemporary Pagan mecca, or something), or Austin with my fabulous Southern Regional gamer/Witch/geek princess friend Sabrina (no really!  That’s her name!), I could also return to Alaska and (among others) my North West Regional gamer/Witch/geek princess friend Lady R (Not her real name)…

I don’t know yet.

For a few days seek balance, then move from there!

So I am single again…

Things have been a little strained between myself and the Big Guy… I’ve been trying to ignore it and focused on looking for full-time work… I figured once I was in a better situation employment wise things would work out…

He’s decided it would be best if we were to break up and remain friends. (I know, it’s a little cliche) but I am also feeling hopeful that we will be able to remain friends…

beyond that I am still processing this latest development, praying for guidance and trying to deal with this.

Peace,
Pax