So as part of a new job, I had gone to the new workplace to fill out some of the newly hired paperwork. I was paying attention to the road, I’m in a new-to-me car that I like quite a lot. It only took a moment. Driving down the road… seeing something come off the hood of one of the cars in front of me… in less time than it took my mind to register that it was a windshield wiper blade that was flying towards my car, it hit. It flew, spear-pointing into the center of my windshield. The cracks blossomed faster than thought and at the same time in slow motion, as the window cracked crazilly, but somehow held.
I never understood the idea of being frozen by fear before, now I do. I wasn’t hurt, and I do not feel traumatized… but I feel different. Like I have had some sort of transforming experience that I cannot quite understand yet. Like I need time and distance to allow this moment of transforming fear to percolate through me and see what it takes away and what it leaves behind.