First in the conga-line of my mind is the realization that I’ve lost touch with a lot of myself in the aftermath of moving to Florida. I lost touch with some of my spirituality and sense of self when I moved down from Alaska.
I lost my sense of connectedness with the natural world and the spirits of the land. I’ve only recently been regaining this part of myself as I returned to my daily spiritual exercises in the face of some insane work and school schedules. Its been easy to put off magick and religious observance in my personal life…
Sometimes that’s the biggest challenge as a solitary is the whole “I can just light a candle and observe the Esbat/Sabbat” mentality… you can, but sometimes a full ritual with all the bells and whistles is what you need… Sometimes those bells and whistles help lead you to the important sign posts on your journey.
The heat of the day and the lack of walking spaces here in Orlando also led me to lose touch with my body… no, not like that!! I mean in terms of getting off my butt and walking and getting some small measure of exercise. I need to start doing more and thinking less. I used to like getting up and going out… and as I have begun to acclimatize to Florida and its heat and humidity I think… no, I know I can start getting some walking in and pursue my growth by shrinking my self down a few pounds.
Time for more physical and metaphysical exercise in my life! Now there’s a part of my head and heart that balks at that last sentence… “I’ve got school and work…so much on my plate already…there’s only so many hours in the day!” ~ that sort of thing?! But you know, the thing is that the physical and metaphysical exercise helps you to handle the everyday. The school and the job or career are so much easier to deal with when you’ve done the physical and metaphysical work.
Frustratingly enough, I KNOW that… I just haven’t DONE it!
Suddenly the phrase “The Great Work of Magick” comes to mind… its not always some big or important thing sometimes its forcing yourself to make the time for what you need in the face of what you want. Developing the True Will involves putting aside what you want in favor of what you need. That can be a difficult lesson to hold onto from day to day.
Another thing lurking in my mind is that sometimes life hurts… not the scarring, scary pain of tragedy… but the everyday slings and arrows that sometimes cut to the bone despite our best efforts to the contrary. There’s a passage in a ritual in one of Rosemary Edghill’s Bast novels where a character is reciting a very different kind of Charge… wow hows THAT for a run on sentence?! Anyway this piece says
“Life is Pain,
Pain is Truth,
Truth is Life,”
Life is not always pleasant, but it is always honest… and learning to face that pain and that honesty and to learn from it… that’s a big part of the journey… or at least it has been for me…