5/30/2022 Monday day of The Sun
12:39 am Hour of the Moon
New Moon & Noumeniatide
In the last few weeks since my last Notes on the Journey post, I’ve managed to post a couple of brief pieces here, and with the aid of some input from some folks in a couple of Discord servers make a few key updates to the Online Resources page.
Truth be told though; I’ve been hesitating to update here until I had some time to process and untangle some of the events of the last couple of weeks and the synchronicities and cledons that happened beforehand. There has also been some wrestling with the question of how much detail to go into as some of the goings on are not entirely my story to tell. At the same time, I know I need to write about it, to write it out, to vent things into the limnal space that is the internet to release some of the hold they have upon me.
There are also a few different influences at work that have sort of interwoven to bring about some new wrinkles in my practices and Craft. As a result, our narrative tonight will take a few detours as life sometimes does, especially when different areas and interests unexpectedly Venn Diagram one at the Crossroads.
Last year after my Bear had his stroke and was unceremoniously discharged from the hospital as quickly as they could get away with, given his lack of insurance, I had reached out to a friend of mine who I knew was having trouble making ends meet and offered him some money to watch my husbear while I returned to work. I had used up my ETO and Jon was nowhere near ready to be left on his own. My almost Sister-on-Law was coming down in a week or so and we were trying to figure out so many things during a time of chaos and fear. He showed up the first night, running late but he showed, and I paid him in advance because his own bills were hitting my friend hard.
The next day he never showed.
I became increasingly worried about him and started reaching out to some of our mutuals whom, like my friend, I was not in close touch with for a while. As it developed that day and over the next few, he had picked up a meth addiction I was not aware of at the time. He had a number of incidents where his addiction became increasingly debilitating and obvious to those of us who know him. Stories not matching up, a mutual who tried to help him with a place to stay and within 24 hours had kicked him out, online drama… all against the background of my own very full days trying to keep my job and take care of my recovering stroke patient partner.
Over the next couple of weeks I tried to be there for him as a friend even after I had determined he was not going to be getting money from me again. We talked, and when he lost the vehicle he was living out of when not in some cheap motel or another, he finally admitted he was powerless before his addiction. He entered a several months long rehab program, and I visited him a number of times and we went out to a couple of dinners, and I helped take him shopping for some things on a couple of his free days where he could check out of the residential rehab for a few hours once a week. I also tried to be an encouraging voice and as good a friend as I could.
This may be surprising, considering he took money from me and left me and my beloved very much in the lurch, but as the son and grandson of alcoholics I have had to educate myself quite thoroughly about addiction and recovery. If I believe someone wants to change, I will help them as best I can. These days I do so with increasingly healthy and strict boundaries that I wish I had learned years earlier.
A week or so before my last journey post, I had helped my friend move their meager possessions from the rehab facility they were in for Meth addiction and into a mutual friend’s apartment. The condition of living there for a few months while he got his life in order before making a move out of state, was that he not use….
Now, In the weeks before my last journey update I have been deep diving on Twitter and lurking, making comments, following every Witchy/Occult account I find interesting, and tweeting. This has led to new blogs and websites and Youtube channels, all helping me reconnect with my Witchy and creative self. Different threads and conversations have had me going back to books from my personal library and notebooks from over the years making different points and comments in conversation with some of my new friends.
One of my new inspirations was to start crafting my own version of a 3 Kings essential oil, equal parts Frankincense, Myrrh, and Copal essential oils. This version of 3 Kings incense was for years my go to, until my husbear’s allergy to resin incense led me to curtail their use.
His allergy to said holy and purifying incense being the source of some hilarity on my part. Well, I think I’m hilarious anyway, he has his doubts.
One of the references I ran into repeatedly over the last couple of months was to the Lesser Banishing Ritual of The Pentegram, I even dug out my own notes on the rite in a conversation about the song Lilly by Kate Bush.
So, the day after my last Notes On the Journey post when I got the call from my friend telling me “I screwed up.”, and the somewhat desperate contact from some of his roommates, asking for help in getting him out of the apartment I was strangely primed to deal with pretty extreme situations.
I sent my friend who had relapsed links to resources for a number of shelters, partly hoping that he would find something even though it was after 5pm and on a Saturday no less. I spoke with the roommates, who were partly at a loss because the main host was out of town. Probably a blessing given his temper. I told them that I would make my way over to the apartment when I had finished some things with my partner. We had gone out and done some shopping and picked up some meds from the pharmacy and were stopping for a late lunch/early dinner date at Fresh Kitchen. We had just pulled into the parking spot at the restaurant when I got the calls and texts.
My Bear and I talked about our friends and the situation briefly, and them simply talked about many other things and enjoyed our meal and our time together. I messaged a few other friends for potential resources, and we came home. I was also in communication with my lapsed addict friend, and his soon to be former roommates, and the out of town roommate/primary host.
I got Jon settled and spent some time gathering myself together for what looked to be a difficult evening. I showered, shaved, and dressed myself. I made some offerings to the Holy Dead, the Holy Spirits, and the Gods. I grounded, I centered, I breathed up through my Chakras and slathered myself in 3 Kings Oil. Then for the first time in something like 20 years I performed the LBRP.
Then, I went over to the apartment. I spent the next several hours getting my still very high on meth friend to start drinking a bunch of water, to flush the meth he still had on his host’s nightstand down the toilet, take a shower, made bargains with his soon to be former roommates to keep his stuff safe, and with the accompaniment and moral support of one of the roommates got him to a Hospital and into a Detox unit for the next few days. All the while in and out of texts and phone-calls with assorted mutuals and the roommates as I stayed close to my methed out friend and tried to bring him back to himself enough to get it together and get some immediate help.
Within a week he had gotten a bus up North and out of state, his plans expedited by the fact that all the shelters here are full and that no one in town was willing to take him in at after everything involved in his relapse.
I have his things and will be packing them in a couple or three boxes and sending them up to him. I continue to communicate with him, and wish him the best. At the same time I have to keep my own mental and emotional health and safety and that of my husbear, in mind and really cannot do more for him at this time.
Since that night any time I am leaving the house for an extended period where I am going to be dealing with the general public, I’ve done the LBRP. I’ve re-read up on it and refined my technique. I am also continuing to use my 3 Kings Oil.
So, yeah, been processing that night and dealing with other things in life and work lately.
Bliss, and Blessed Be,
Pax / Geoffrey
PS- a few useful links about the LBRP or Lesser Banishing Ritual of The Pentegram Here, Here, & Here.