About Pax

I am many things, Witch, Polytheist, Unitarian Universlaist, Husbear, Hospitality Profesional, (sometiems) Writer, Dreamer and more...

An inspiring Image for the next month or so…

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(So this post will be ‘stuck’ at the top of the blog front page for a while as part of my continuing journey and Work, and features a music video that is NSFW…)

Dear Friends,

So I am working and Working on myself.

Part of this is going through Kissing The Limitless again to reconnect with my self and Work.  Remembering to breathe, remembering to actually ~engage~ in my practices, etc…

The other night as I was writing in my journal I wrote…

“I have neglected/punished myself and neglected my Practices and Spirit and Spirits out of fear and unhappiness:”

Which could really encapsulate so much of my path the last several years… up the hill and backsliding back down.  Although some part of me wonders if this is more like sledding… are there some lessons or experiences I need to learn, or reward I am getting, related to my ‘backsliding’?

Anyhow after I wrote the above quote I picked up KTL and came to page 16, Moving Past Preconceptions…

“Doing the Work

What in you holds an unattainable image of perfection that you run from or flog yourself for not having?  What causes you to give up?  Can you look for what emotion might be be beneath this?  As you do your other practices, take time to notice when these feelings arise.

Find an image that inspires you and use that as a touchstone in your work for the next month.  Everytime you notice yourself not measuring up, take a breath and try to notice the story beneath the story.  Then remember the inspiring image and move on for the moment.”                 (C) T. Thorn Coyle 2009, Kissing The Limitless

And then I thought of that song “Perfect” by Pink…

This song is going to be my touchstone, or one of them, for a while…thus it’s prominence here on the blog for a bit..

So what images, songs, quotes, etc… nourish your spirit and speak to your life and soul and Work?  What inspires you on your Journey?

Blessings on your Journey,

Pax

PS- Pink is just kind of awesome by the by…

Wakefulness and the Metaphors of Sleep and The Journey

A lot of Western occultism and philosophy use the metaphor of sleep. As in we live in a world that lulls us to sleep, and that the spiritual practices and magickal Work help us to awaken to fullness…

It sometimes feels like a good half of my life is spent in a fitful slumber, occasionally punctuated by moments of wakefulness and awareness.

Dear Friends,

I wrote this on my Facebook Status the other day…

Yes.  I am, yet again, returning to Practice.  Spiritual and Religious and Magickal practice.  Although since one of my ideas is that Magick is at it’s heart a Spiritual Practice… like say meditation or prayer…. it seems strange to itemize them.

Then too, there is my own use of “Journey” for my spiritual… well….path.

(A LOT of the language for a spiritual/religious/philosophical life seems to be movement oriented doesn’t it?)

Anyhow, the last few years have seen some detours and time broken down by the side of the road resting and maybe repairing myself.  My readings, and discussions with other religious/spiritual traveler’s, tell me that this is not a rare thing.

Today I Grounded and Centered, I blessed water, I made offerings to The Ancestors and The Household Spirits, I did a Spiritual Cleansing Exercise, and I wrote in my log book about how strong and familiar and renewing it felt… despite my glaring lack of practice the last few years.

I find myself wondering if, given that the words we use are one of the simplest ways we shape ourselves and our world, does using the metaphor of wakefullness require us to sleep?  Does the metaphor of the journey mean that at times we must face a bumpy or tiring road?  What words might I use instead?

“Be careful what you ask for…”

~said every magick and spirit worker ever!

Should I even bother reshaping my language around these efforts and experiences I undertake?  I mean, there is little point in engaging in these things if you can’t find friends and allies to share them with…. a shared language allows communication and reflection and inspiration through interaction with others.

It also occurs to me that the challenges implied by the metaphors we use are apparently always a part of the journey.  They are called spiritual and religious ‘practices’ because that is what we are supposed to do with them, practice, again and again.  Sometimes with less than spectacular results and in drudgery, with growing competency and polish, and occasional moments of excellence… losing ourselves in the wonder of it all.

I find myself accepting the challenge that whatever language we use to shape our spiritual practice and journey, however we are struggling to awaken, it requires the detours and the struggle.  Why else to they call it the great Work?

What do you think?

Cleaning house and contemplating a few topics…

Dear Friends,

So today I work the overnight shift, and am trying to get the apartment cleaned up a bit and get some devotional and spiritual practice in before attempting a nap before work.

I am also pondering some interesting posts from around the Pagan blogoshpere.

Deeply relevant to my own journey recently is Dver’s post Do not stop your devotions; to which I would only add that you should set aside your other spiritual practices with forethought and care!  In another post Dver praised a post over at Finchuill’s Mast discussing Facebook and Scarlett Imprint’s decision to leave that particular social network, and FB’s capacity to eat time and energy in our lives in The Maw That Tried To Eat The World.
CredenceDawg wrote about the importance of separate selfhood on the spiritual path in his post Chemistry.  It is not as obscure as my description makes it sound…

Finally I came across an older post from Hfraknell’s blog A Heathen’s Day that struck a chord.  Does it Matter What Our Ancestors Would Do?  Wherein he contemplates this questions and its relations to how religions and cultures change over time.

So as I go through my afternoon cleaning and reconnecting, these are some of the ideas that are bouncing around my mind.  I suspect I will be writing about one or more of the above sometime soon.

For now though, I am off to clean up the Kitchen, the Living Room, and the Altar.

Peace,

Pax

A simple Imbolc-tide observance, and not so simple thoughts…

Hello Dear Friends,

Happy Imbolc-tide to any and all who read these words!

(…and if you’re not sure what I just said, this Wild Hunt post and this Wikipedia entry, should help)

So for the Sabbat of Imbolc, I took my Brigid Candle from that ritual a couple of years back, lit it and a stick of incense and poured a small libation of Whiskey to Brigid.

Nothing fancy, or elaborate, just a simple few moments in my day.

Lately, that seems to be all the Religious or Spiritual Practice I can manage…

I was hoping to write something eloquent, going over some of the interesting points made about this Holy Tide by Jason Mankey and Niki Whiting over at Patheos.  I was also going to wax philosophical about how Sannion’s 99 Adorations of Dionysus, and the many fabulous similar devotional works that are linked to that post’s comments section, had begun to stir my long quiescent creativity in the days before Imbolc.

This, as it turns out, is not going to be that post.  Though all of the above are interwoven inspirations on my thoughts as I write this.

Last year was a fairly tumultuous and drama filled cluster-something at my workplace.  My job ate my life and in the aftermath I am still recovering my own sense of balance and self.  I retreated from the world, and am only now realizing just how much and for how long I was in some sort of retreat mode.  There have been a lot of rough patches in my life the last three years or so, and a lot of rough patches and (metaphorical) stumbles and falls on this Pagan’s journey.

They have not been unmixed with blessings,  (Waves hello to the Fabulous Jonathan)  However, with each tumble, each rough patch I pulled back.  I retreated and spent more and more time puttering at my computer largely hiding from the world.  There have been moments of uplift and inspiration, but overall I have been curling up away from the world.

I am trying to undo the isolation and restrictions that I have placed on my creativity and joy in life.  I have started socializing with my friends more, and making new ones.  I have started DM-ing a D&D game on alternate Sundays.  This is alternated with socialization and cigars with a new-found friend and fellow Pagan.  I have been trying, once more, to use my Social Media streams for constructive and deep communication and friendship.  I have also been trying to reach out to friends old and new for either communication or the simple joy of their company.

I have not, however, been writing.

I was musing on that this morning after having ducked out of 1U Orlando, after briefly touching base with folks but feeling overwhelmed by the early onset of my allergies and fleeing for a drive before meeting my friend E for cigars and then a meeting at work.

I was thinking about my recent realization of how the perfect is the enemy of the good.  I found myself thinking about how little time I have really spent out from behind my computer, or in my car, or at work in the last few years.  I thought about how disconnected I feel from the rhythms of the natural world living in this Subtropical wonderland I now call home… and how tricky it is to connect to this new lands cycles when they seem to be regularly disrupted by climate change.

I also thought about writing, and poetry, and reading and the healing and transformational power that such things have had in my life over the years.

I thought about the many wonderful friendships that have nurtured and nourished my soul and creativity over the last 25 or so years of my 40 years on Earth.

In many ways I feel as if I am returning to my real self after too long an absence.  I feel like I am growing spiritually and emotionally once more.  I am feeling the slow stirrings of renewal and growth and healing and creativity in my soul and in my life.

So blessed Imbolc to one and all!

Pax

Goblin Market ~ Christina Rossetti

Morning and evening

Maids heard the goblins cry:

“Come buy our orchard fruits,

Come buy, come buy:

Apples and quinces,

Lemons and oranges,

Plump unpeck’d cherries,

Melons and raspberries,

Bloom-down-cheek’d peaches,

Swart-headed mulberries,

Wild free-born cranberries,

Crab-apples, dewberries,

Pine-apples, blackberries,

Apricots, strawberries;—

All ripe together

In summer weather,—

Morns that pass by,

Fair eves that fly;

Come buy, come buy:

Our grapes fresh from the vine,

Pomegranates full and fine,

Dates and sharp bullaces,

Rare pears and greengages,

Damsons and bilberries,

Taste them and try:

Currants and gooseberries,

Bright-fire-like barberries,

Figs to fill your mouth,

Citrons from the South,

Sweet to tongue and sound to eye;

Come buy, come buy.”

Evening by evening

Among the brookside rushes,

Laura bow’d her head to hear,

Lizzie veil’d her blushes:

Crouching close together

In the cooling weather,

With clasping arms and cautioning lips,

With tingling cheeks and finger tips.

“Lie close,” Laura said,

Pricking up her golden head:

“We must not look at goblin men,

We must not buy their fruits:

Who knows upon what soil they fed

Their hungry thirsty roots?”

“Come buy,” call the goblins

Hobbling down the glen.

“Oh,” cried Lizzie, “Laura, Laura,

You should not peep at goblin men.”

Lizzie cover’d up her eyes,

Cover’d close lest they should look;

Laura rear’d her glossy head,

And whisper’d like the restless brook:

“Look, Lizzie, look, Lizzie,

Down the glen tramp little men.

One hauls a basket,

One bears a plate,

One lugs a golden dish

Of many pounds weight.

How fair the vine must grow

Whose grapes are so luscious;

How warm the wind must blow

Through those fruit bushes.”

“No,” said Lizzie, “No, no, no;

Their offers should not charm us,

Their evil gifts would harm us.”

She thrust a dimpled finger

In each ear, shut eyes and ran:

Curious Laura chose to linger

Wondering at each merchant man.

One had a cat’s face,

One whisk’d a tail,

One tramp’d at a rat’s pace,

One crawl’d like a snail,

One like a wombat prowl’d obtuse and furry,

One like a ratel tumbled hurry skurry.

She heard a voice like voice of doves

Cooing all together:

They sounded kind and full of loves

In the pleasant weather.

Laura stretch’d her gleaming neck

Like a rush-imbedded swan,

Like a lily from the beck,

Like a moonlit poplar branch,

Like a vessel at the launch

When its last restraint is gone.

Backwards up the mossy glen

Turn’d and troop’d the goblin men,

With their shrill repeated cry,

“Come buy, come buy.”

When they reach’d where Laura was

They stood stock still upon the moss,

Leering at each other,

Brother with queer brother;

Signalling each other,

Brother with sly brother.

One set his basket down,

One rear’d his plate;

One began to weave a crown

Of tendrils, leaves, and rough nuts brown

(Men sell not such in any town);

One heav’d the golden weight

Of dish and fruit to offer her:

“Come buy, come buy,” was still their cry.

Laura stared but did not stir,

Long’d but had no money:

The whisk-tail’d merchant bade her taste

In tones as smooth as honey,

The cat-faced purr’d,

The rat-faced spoke a word

Of welcome, and the snail-paced even was heard;

One parrot-voiced and jolly

Cried “Pretty Goblin” still for “Pretty Polly;”—

One whistled like a bird.

But sweet-tooth Laura spoke in haste:

“Good folk, I have no coin;

To take were to purloin:

I have no copper in my purse,

I have no silver either,

And all my gold is on the furze

That shakes in windy weather

Above the rusty heather.”

“You have much gold upon your head,”

They answer’d all together:

“Buy from us with a golden curl.”

She clipp’d a precious golden lock,

She dropp’d a tear more rare than pearl,

Then suck’d their fruit globes fair or red:

Sweeter than honey from the rock,

Stronger than man-rejoicing wine,

Clearer than water flow’d that juice;

She never tasted such before,

How should it cloy with length of use?

She suck’d and suck’d and suck’d the more

Fruits which that unknown orchard bore;

She suck’d until her lips were sore;

Then flung the emptied rinds away

But gather’d up one kernel stone,

And knew not was it night or day

As she turn’d home alone.

Lizzie met her at the gate

Full of wise upbraidings:

“Dear, you should not stay so late,

Twilight is not good for maidens;

Should not loiter in the glen

In the haunts of goblin men.

Do you not remember Jeanie,

How she met them in the moonlight,

Took their gifts both choice and many,

Ate their fruits and wore their flowers

Pluck’d from bowers

Where summer ripens at all hours?

But ever in the noonlight

She pined and pined away;

Sought them by night and day,

Found them no more, but dwindled and grew grey;

Then fell with the first snow,

While to this day no grass will grow

Where she lies low:

I planted daisies there a year ago

That never blow.

You should not loiter so.”

“Nay, hush,” said Laura:

“Nay, hush, my sister:

I ate and ate my fill,

Yet my mouth waters still;

To-morrow night I will

Buy more;” and kiss’d her:

“Have done with sorrow;

I’ll bring you plums to-morrow

Fresh on their mother twigs,

Cherries worth getting;

You cannot think what figs

My teeth have met in,

What melons icy-cold

Piled on a dish of gold

Too huge for me to hold,

What peaches with a velvet nap,

Pellucid grapes without one seed:

Odorous indeed must be the mead

Whereon they grow, and pure the wave they drink

With lilies at the brink,

And sugar-sweet their sap.”

Golden head by golden head,

Like two pigeons in one nest

Folded in each other’s wings,

They lay down in their curtain’d bed:

Like two blossoms on one stem,

Like two flakes of new-fall’n snow,

Like two wands of ivory

Tipp’d with gold for awful kings.

Moon and stars gaz’d in at them,

Wind sang to them lullaby,

Lumbering owls forbore to fly,

Not a bat flapp’d to and fro

Round their rest:

Cheek to cheek and breast to breast

Lock’d together in one nest.

Early in the morning

When the first cock crow’d his warning,

Neat like bees, as sweet and busy,

Laura rose with Lizzie:

Fetch’d in honey, milk’d the cows,

Air’d and set to rights the house,

Kneaded cakes of whitest wheat,

Cakes for dainty mouths to eat,

Next churn’d butter, whipp’d up cream,

Fed their poultry, sat and sew’d;

Talk’d as modest maidens should:

Lizzie with an open heart,

Laura in an absent dream,

One content, one sick in part;

One warbling for the mere bright day’s delight,

One longing for the night.

At length slow evening came:

They went with pitchers to the reedy brook;

Lizzie most placid in her look,

Laura most like a leaping flame.

They drew the gurgling water from its deep;

Lizzie pluck’d purple and rich golden flags,

Then turning homeward said: “The sunset flushes

Those furthest loftiest crags;

Come, Laura, not another maiden lags.

No wilful squirrel wags,

The beasts and birds are fast asleep.”

But Laura loiter’d still among the rushes

And said the bank was steep.

And said the hour was early still

The dew not fall’n, the wind not chill;

Listening ever, but not catching

The customary cry,

“Come buy, come buy,”

With its iterated jingle

Of sugar-baited words:

Not for all her watching

Once discerning even one goblin

Racing, whisking, tumbling, hobbling;

Let alone the herds

That used to tramp along the glen,

In groups or single,

Of brisk fruit-merchant men.

Till Lizzie urged, “O Laura, come;

I hear the fruit-call but I dare not look:

You should not loiter longer at this brook:

Come with me home.

The stars rise, the moon bends her arc,

Each glowworm winks her spark,

Let us get home before the night grows dark:

For clouds may gather

Though this is summer weather,

Put out the lights and drench us through;

Then if we lost our way what should we do?”

Laura turn’d cold as stone

To find her sister heard that cry alone,

That goblin cry,

“Come buy our fruits, come buy.”

Must she then buy no more such dainty fruit?

Must she no more such succous pasture find,

Gone deaf and blind?

Her tree of life droop’d from the root:

She said not one word in her heart’s sore ache;

But peering thro’ the dimness, nought discerning,

Trudg’d home, her pitcher dripping all the way;

So crept to bed, and lay

Silent till Lizzie slept;

Then sat up in a passionate yearning,

And gnash’d her teeth for baulk’d desire, and wept

As if her heart would break.

Day after day, night after night,

Laura kept watch in vain

In sullen silence of exceeding pain.

She never caught again the goblin cry:

“Come buy, come buy;”—

She never spied the goblin men

Hawking their fruits along the glen:

But when the noon wax’d bright

Her hair grew thin and grey;

She dwindled, as the fair full moon doth turn

To swift decay and burn

Her fire away.

One day remembering her kernel-stone

She set it by a wall that faced the south;

Dew’d it with tears, hoped for a root,

Watch’d for a waxing shoot,

But there came none;

It never saw the sun,

It never felt the trickling moisture run:

While with sunk eyes and faded mouth

She dream’d of melons, as a traveller sees

False waves in desert drouth

With shade of leaf-crown’d trees,

And burns the thirstier in the sandful breeze.

She no more swept the house,

Tended the fowls or cows,

Fetch’d honey, kneaded cakes of wheat,

Brought water from the brook:

But sat down listless in the chimney-nook

And would not eat.

Tender Lizzie could not bear

To watch her sister’s cankerous care

Yet not to share.

She night and morning

Caught the goblins’ cry:

“Come buy our orchard fruits,

Come buy, come buy;”—

Beside the brook, along the glen,

She heard the tramp of goblin men,

The yoke and stir

Poor Laura could not hear;

Long’d to buy fruit to comfort her,

But fear’d to pay too dear.

She thought of Jeanie in her grave,

Who should have been a bride;

But who for joys brides hope to have

Fell sick and died

In her gay prime,

In earliest winter time

With the first glazing rime,

With the first snow-fall of crisp winter time.

Till Laura dwindling

Seem’d knocking at Death’s door:

Then Lizzie weigh’d no more

Better and worse;

But put a silver penny in her purse,

Kiss’d Laura, cross’d the heath with clumps of furze

At twilight, halted by the brook:

And for the first time in her life

Began to listen and look.

Laugh’d every goblin

When they spied her peeping:

Came towards her hobbling,

Flying, running, leaping,

Puffing and blowing,

Chuckling, clapping, crowing,

Clucking and gobbling,

Mopping and mowing,

Full of airs and graces,

Pulling wry faces,

Demure grimaces,

Cat-like and rat-like,

Ratel- and wombat-like,

Snail-paced in a hurry,

Parrot-voiced and whistler,

Helter skelter, hurry skurry,

Chattering like magpies,

Fluttering like pigeons,

Gliding like fishes,—

Hugg’d her and kiss’d her:

Squeez’d and caress’d her:

Stretch’d up their dishes,

Panniers, and plates:

“Look at our apples

Russet and dun,

Bob at our cherries,

Bite at our peaches,

Citrons and dates,

Grapes for the asking,

Pears red with basking

Out in the sun,

Plums on their twigs;

Pluck them and suck them,

Pomegranates, figs.”—

“Good folk,” said Lizzie,

Mindful of Jeanie:

“Give me much and many: —

Held out her apron,

Toss’d them her penny.

“Nay, take a seat with us,

Honour and eat with us,”

They answer’d grinning:

“Our feast is but beginning.

Night yet is early,

Warm and dew-pearly,

Wakeful and starry:

Such fruits as these

No man can carry:

Half their bloom would fly,

Half their dew would dry,

Half their flavour would pass by.

Sit down and feast with us,

Be welcome guest with us,

Cheer you and rest with us.”—

“Thank you,” said Lizzie: “But one waits

At home alone for me:

So without further parleying,

If you will not sell me any

Of your fruits though much and many,

Give me back my silver penny

I toss’d you for a fee.”—

They began to scratch their pates,

No longer wagging, purring,

But visibly demurring,

Grunting and snarling.

One call’d her proud,

Cross-grain’d, uncivil;

Their tones wax’d loud,

Their looks were evil.

Lashing their tails

They trod and hustled her,

Elbow’d and jostled her,

Claw’d with their nails,

Barking, mewing, hissing, mocking,

Tore her gown and soil’d her stocking,

Twitch’d her hair out by the roots,

Stamp’d upon her tender feet,

Held her hands and squeez’d their fruits

Against her mouth to make her eat.

White and golden Lizzie stood,

Like a lily in a flood,—

Like a rock of blue-vein’d stone

Lash’d by tides obstreperously,—

Like a beacon left alone

In a hoary roaring sea,

Sending up a golden fire,—

Like a fruit-crown’d orange-tree

White with blossoms honey-sweet

Sore beset by wasp and bee,—

Like a royal virgin town

Topp’d with gilded dome and spire

Close beleaguer’d by a fleet

Mad to tug her standard down.

One may lead a horse to water,

Twenty cannot make him drink.

Though the goblins cuff’d and caught her,

Coax’d and fought her,

Bullied and besought her,

Scratch’d her, pinch’d her black as ink,

Kick’d and knock’d her,

Maul’d and mock’d her,

Lizzie utter’d not a word;

Would not open lip from lip

Lest they should cram a mouthful in:

But laugh’d in heart to feel the drip

Of juice that syrupp’d all her face,

And lodg’d in dimples of her chin,

And streak’d her neck which quaked like curd.

At last the evil people,

Worn out by her resistance,

Flung back her penny, kick’d their fruit

Along whichever road they took,

Not leaving root or stone or shoot;

Some writh’d into the ground,

Some div’d into the brook

With ring and ripple,

Some scudded on the gale without a sound,

Some vanish’d in the distance.

In a smart, ache, tingle,

Lizzie went her way;

Knew not was it night or day;

Sprang up the bank, tore thro’ the furze,

Threaded copse and dingle,

And heard her penny jingle

Bouncing in her purse,—

Its bounce was music to her ear.

She ran and ran

As if she fear’d some goblin man

Dogg’d her with gibe or curse

Or something worse:

But not one goblin scurried after,

Nor was she prick’d by fear;

The kind heart made her windy-paced

That urged her home quite out of breath with haste

And inward laughter.

She cried, “Laura,” up the garden,

“Did you miss me?

Come and kiss me.

Never mind my bruises,

Hug me, kiss me, suck my juices

Squeez’d from goblin fruits for you,

Goblin pulp and goblin dew.

Eat me, drink me, love me;

Laura, make much of me;

For your sake I have braved the glen

And had to do with goblin merchant men.”

Laura started from her chair,

Flung her arms up in the air,

Clutch’d her hair:

“Lizzie, Lizzie, have you tasted

For my sake the fruit forbidden?

Must your light like mine be hidden,

Your young life like mine be wasted,

Undone in mine undoing,

And ruin’d in my ruin,

Thirsty, canker’d, goblin-ridden?”—

She clung about her sister,

Kiss’d and kiss’d and kiss’d her:

Tears once again

Refresh’d her shrunken eyes,

Dropping like rain

After long sultry drouth;

Shaking with aguish fear, and pain,

She kiss’d and kiss’d her with a hungry mouth.

Her lips began to scorch,

That juice was wormwood to her tongue,

She loath’d the feast:

Writhing as one possess’d she leap’d and sung,

Rent all her robe, and wrung

Her hands in lamentable haste,

And beat her breast.

Her locks stream’d like the torch

Borne by a racer at full speed,

Or like the mane of horses in their flight,

Or like an eagle when she stems the light

Straight toward the sun,

Or like a caged thing freed,

Or like a flying flag when armies run.

Swift fire spread through her veins, knock’d at her heart,

Met the fire smouldering there

And overbore its lesser flame;

She gorged on bitterness without a name:

Ah! fool, to choose such part

Of soul-consuming care!

Sense fail’d in the mortal strife:

Like the watch-tower of a town

Which an earthquake shatters down,

Like a lightning-stricken mast,

Like a wind-uprooted tree

Spun about,

Like a foam-topp’d waterspout

Cast down headlong in the sea,

She fell at last;

Pleasure past and anguish past,

Is it death or is it life?

Life out of death.

That night long Lizzie watch’d by her,

Counted her pulse’s flagging stir,

Felt for her breath,

Held water to her lips, and cool’d her face

With tears and fanning leaves:

But when the first birds chirp’d about their eaves,

And early reapers plodded to the place

Of golden sheaves,

And dew-wet grass

Bow’d in the morning winds so brisk to pass,

And new buds with new day

Open’d of cup-like lilies on the stream,

Laura awoke as from a dream,

Laugh’d in the innocent old way,

Hugg’d Lizzie but not twice or thrice;

Her gleaming locks show’d not one thread of grey,

Her breath was sweet as May

And light danced in her eyes.

Days, weeks, months, years

Afterwards, when both were wives

With children of their own;

Their mother-hearts beset with fears,

Their lives bound up in tender lives;

Laura would call the little ones

And tell them of her early prime,

Those pleasant days long gone

Of not-returning time:

Would talk about the haunted glen,

The wicked, quaint fruit-merchant men,

Their fruits like honey to the throat

But poison in the blood;

(Men sell not such in any town):

Would tell them how her sister stood

In deadly peril to do her good,

And win the fiery antidote:

Then joining hands to little hands

Would bid them cling together,

“For there is no friend like a sister

In calm or stormy weather;

To cheer one on the tedious way,

To fetch one if one goes astray,

To lift one if one totters down,

To strengthen whilst one stands.”

An old favorite, found here, and posted as part of the Brigid / Imbolc Poetry Event for 2012!

The Witch at the Bishop’s Ordination

Dear Friends,

So this week-end I got to attend the Ordination of a dear friend as a Bishop of the Independent Catholic Church.

Bishop W, and his husband G, are dear friends of ours and Jon and I catered their Wedding Reception as our gift to them upon that happy occasion.   They are both good men and dear friends and we have spent many a night socializing with them and getting into some interesting philosophical and theological conversations.

Jon was helping to record the Ordination Ceremony, and I spent much of the time in the Church Hall getting the hall ready for the festivities afterwards.  Mostly this was prepping some water and lemonade and lime drink, and setting tables and getting the food and desert trays ready.

We had been delayed getting into the rental Hall by another event, and so for the early part of the ceremony I was till in the hall getting things ready.  I got to a reasonable stopping point, and felt the urge to hurry over to the Church itself for the ceremony.

I had apparently arrived shortly after the key rites had begun. My friend W was kneeling before the assembled Bishops and other ICC Clergy who were there to perform the ceremony.  A large and ornate book, a Bible I would imagine, was held over W’s head and prayers and blessings were intoned and some of the officiating Bishops laid on hands upon W’s head.

I wasn’t surprised at the gathering sense of Power and Presence and Love… although as a Pagan and Witch with only limited experience of other Religious ceremonies I am always intrigued with the experience of Power and Powers in other traditions.

I was struck by both the beauty, the power, the unfamiliarity, and the irony of the moment….

My own journey of the last few years as a Pagan and Witch and Unitarian Universalist has been one of coming to terms with Christianity and the Abrahamic faiths as someone who only recently realized that despite being unchurched as a boy and young man that I held some deep resentments of Christianity, and Christians, and Christ.   Ironically it was joining a U.U. congregations that began my rapprochement with Christianity and Christ and Jehovah.

Fundamentalists of both the Christian and Pagan stripe will be horrified to learn that in those transforming moments where Power and Holy Spirit flowed into, through, and around my once and future friend I felt Love and Peace.  I was neither driven back, nor disturbed by or harmed in any way by the experience; nor was a some how transformed into a Christian or shown in any way that my own path or faith was somehow less or wrong.

I felt my Heart Chakra open, like a flower blooming in the light of the sun.  I felt the quiet but sure Presence of Herne in the back of my head watching over me.  I felt the cross-roads currents flowing into and around the Altar.

I watched as my friend, now the Bishop, stood and was Mitered and Robed, and given the regalia of his office.  Even though I haven’t been to even one Service conducted by then Father W, I could see and sense the transformation upon him as the newly anointed Bishop performed the rite of the Eucharist.

For a moment, I did find myself wondering if it would be all right if I partook of the Communion… but, I am not a Christian.  That is not my Mystery to partake of.

I went back to the Hall and finished prepping things, and had a wonderful afternoon socializing with a few old friends present, and making some new ones.  The day ended at W and G’s home, with a few of us noshing and drinking and enjoying some good discussion.

In all, an interesting Week-end.

Peace,

Pax

A Lesson of Hestia

Dear Friends,

So The Fabulous Jonathan and I recently got ourselves a Slow-Cooker.  I spent Monday, one of my two days off from work, doing some research and planning and shopping for ingredients for a slow-cooker Chilli recipe.

Also sometime Monday, I discovered that the Facebook Group the Society For The Protection and Promotion of Polytheism had posted a fabulous picture of fire, and a delightful quote of unknown attribution.

Photographer Unknown as yet..

photographer unknown

‘I remember one time a guy at school overheard me reading about the Gods and saw an entry about Hestia. This guy asked me, “What is Hestia?” I still remember saying, “The thing I love about fire is that it is prevalent in all religions. The reason why it is in every religion is because it symbolizes the human soul, our ability to know and do what is right in times of conflict. Fire brings warmth and light; it unites people and allows them to be gracious and joyful. Fire represents a universal truth, older than any religion on Earth and that truth is compassion, selflessness and generosity. That is Hestia.”’   ~author unknown

This post struck me quite close to the heart.  I was recently asked by Reverend Kathy to start a team of folks to help provide kitchen and culinary skill and know-how for groups and events at 1U Orlando.  Then too, Hospitality is a value very dear to my heart and entwined with my everyday life.

So when I woke up Tuesday morning, after some coffee, I lit the tea-light candle in the Soapstone Oil Warmer that I use as a simple altar to Hestia, sitting on the kitchen windowsill.   Then I started to worship Her in the simplest and most ancient of ways.  I began to cook.  I prepared some chilli for myself and my beloved, and thought of ways to share what culinary gifts I have with my family and friends and community.

I trimmed the beef Chuck roast, and cubed it.  I browned the meat.  As I was prepping some of the ingredients I engaged in my ongoing fantasy of being a cooking show host.  I diced an onion and a green bell pepper, thinking about my neglected knife skills as I did so.  My classes at the Orlando Le Cordon Bleu focused mainly on Restaurant and Hospitality Management with only a couple of basic and broad-strokes Culinary classes… my knife skills are not the sharpest.  But I can get the job done… It would be such a shame if people didn’t do something because they didn’t think they were good enough at it even if it is their first time…

“The Perfect is the Enemy of the Good”

It wasn’t so much words, as the sense that this classic aphorism was blazing forth from my sub-conscious… the right idea at the right time… strongly nudged along by the act of worshipful cookery.

I found myself thinking about how often in life we can hesitate to do or make something because we want it to turn out just right.

I remember a conversation with my friend RavenMoon about how people will stop drawing because they think they are not any good because they can’t draw a realistic face or something, even though we cannot improve without practice, and even though it is the act of creating that is so nourishing to the mind and soul… who cares if you can’t draw a realistic face… neither did Picasso or Dali!

So I finished mixing the ingredients, fresh and canned, and set them to a slow sensual simmer in the slow-cooker for the next several hours of my workday.

Then, of course, I found myself with the dilemma that even as the chilli was in the slow-cooker, I was really craving some chilli right now!  So I spent some time thinking about patience and gratification and self-control.

So often we hesitate to give ourselves over to creative processes because we want an instant fix of because we can’t do something “right” the first time… but I truly believe that when we ware giving ourselves over to an act of creation, that we begin to more closely relate to the powers which created our Universe, to the Holy Powers of Creation.

So now I am writing, stumbling and humbly, about creativity and touching the face of Creation.  I am planning my next meal, and my next batch of Chilli….

What do you do to touch the World Soul?  What art or skill nurtures and nourishes your mind and spirit and relationship  with the fabulously holy cosmos of ours?

Peace,

Pax

PS- as an added bonus…

The Evolving Chili Recipe for Pax’s Texas Style Slow-Cooker Chilli

Ingredients:

At least 1 and 1/2 lbs of Beef Chuck Roast

1 – 12oz bag of dried Kidney Beans

2 cans diced tomatoes

(or dice em fresh, but I’ve got a tiny kitchen and limited free time)

2 cans beans in Chilli sauce (not canned pre-made chilli, but beans in a chilli sauce)

1 large Onion

1 large Bell pepper

1 packet Chilli Seasoning

(eventually I’d like to make my own mix of spices and herbs, but with a tiny Kitchen, the mixes while higher in salt that making your own, are a blessing)

Process:

The night before wash, rinse, and boil the dried Kidney Beans and soak overnight.

The next day take your Beef and cut it into bite sized pieces, fry in a pan to brown the outsides.  Drain the liquid and put the meat in the crock.

Dice your Onion and Pepper and into the crock with them as well.

Open the cans of tomatoes, drain them, and put them in.

Open and add the canned beans in Chilli sauce.

Add the Kidney beans and a cup or two of the soaking liquid.

Add Chilli Seasoning.

Set slow-cooker for your required time, I prefer a low and slow approach especially since I am doing this before heading to work.

Hours later, enjoy with some shredded cheddar, sour cream, and Corn Bread !

A note about some of the upcoming posts…

Dear Friends,

I am back…

I will be writing a number of basic posts about basic Spiritual Practices, as part of a project to rebuild my Spiritual Practices page.  Longtime friends of the blog may remember that I used to have an very long piece on that page… but I realized that it can be very difficult to edit a really really long document, for me at least.  So I am going to do smaller posts to the blog that the Spiritual Practices page will link to.

This will not only make it a much easier to search and use for a Seeker.   This approach will also make it easier for me to edit the pieces and parts of what may eventually be a published work on Spiritual Practices for Seekers and Pagans.

Peace

Pax

On the Blessing of Water

Dear Friends,

It starts with taking a few deep breaths as I Ground and Center.

After a few deep breaths, I connect to the world around me.  I feel the air and energy flowing upon my breath,  I open my senses to the sights and sounds and smells and sensations around me.  I let my breath and my energy link me through the soles of my feet to the Earth, through my hands to the water in the bottle or decanter I am holding, through the crown of my head to connect with divinity.

“I Cleanse Thee, I Consecrate Thee, I Charge Thee, Oh, Creature of Water.

I cast out of thee all impurities, that with thee I may work wonders and worship.

By the Holy Mother In Whom we live, move, and have our being, Blessed Be!

By the Holy Father Who lives, moves, and has being in every atom, every cell, and every soul, Blessed Be!”

Then Libations are poured, the blessing is repeated as needed and the full decanter or bottle is place in the refridgerator.

This Blessed or Holy Water is used for libations, and drinking, and sometimes cooking.

The interesting thing I’ve learned from this practice is how the act of blessing is, in itself, a blessing.  When I do this I am better connected to the Gods, and to the best of myself.

This same process is one I use to bless wine, or ingredients for meals.  Obviously, if I am blessing, say Coffee… I would say ‘creature of water and earth’… or Salt it is ‘creature of earth’ …

Peace,

Pax

Hey there folks!

Dear Friends,

So today was my first day off in the New Year.  The scents of Sandalwood and Palo Santo and Indian Temple Incense have been wafting through the house, offerings of incense and coffee and spiced wine have been made.  I have spent the day puttering around, cleaning things up a bit, and reading some new religious books, and playing around online.

I am trying to take stock of the previous years, and look to what I want to do in the coming year…

I set aside a lot of myself in service to my job in the last year.  The false hopes of a promotion and a tremendous amount of drama at the job.    I set aside my spiritual quest and my writing and a large part of what makes me,  That ends now.

I have been trying to reconnect to my spiritual practices and my faith and my Gods, and Ancestors, and Spirits.  Offering of incense and various libations.  Breathing deeply and blessing water and relating to the Household Spirits and the Ancestors.

Peace,

Pax

Thoughts on the discussions about Current Events, and the art of constructive conversation.

Dear Friends,

The recent tragedy in Connecticut coming as it has at the time of year where so many of us, across many religions and traditions focus on peace and the holy nature of family and children and beloved friends, has opened up a tidal wave of raw emotions.  Anger and fear and frustration and grief all washing over us like waves upon the shore.

Despite my initial gut reaction to the partisan posts that started flooding my media stream, to caution against comment and to encourage a time of prayer and grief... I have ended up in many conversations with folks…. mainly over on Facebook.  Heck, that same day I found myself trying to engage others in dialogue about the question of what can be done?  I have needed to speak, to hear, to question and to seek some spark of wisdom or meaning or healing in conversation with others.

Violence prevention in general needs to be a part of the national discussion in the United States, as do better gun safety laws, and a serious look at the need for a better mental health safety net in our nation.

Sadly, the nuances of these important and complicated conversations is getting lost in the tides of partisan arguments related to Gun Control vs. Gun Rights.

It seems like folks are more interested in scoring political/rhetorical points from the extremes of the gun control/gun rights crowds, OR are more interested in retreating from discussion of the complexities of this issue out of grief or frustration, than they are interested trying to solve what seems like an increasing plague of violence in our nation.

I think that all too often partisan rhetoric and predatory snarkastic point making has replaced productive dialogue in the public discourse.  Living in an environment where such partisan or bad behavior is the norm, we get sucked or perhaps suckered into behaving in that way.

We need to encourage, engage in, and model a more productive discussion on the issues of Gun Safety, Violence Prevention, and Mental Health care.

Discussion, argument, and disagreement on an issue need not equal enmity folks.

I think we can respect the solemnity of this moment AND begin conversations that can bring both healing and perhaps some solutions.

It is difficult work, Work in the sacred sense even.   Requiring a willingness to speak our minds and hearts, be vulnerable, and to truly Listen to what those we disagree with are saying and expressing… damn difficult work.

One of the challenges is that true and deep listening requires the willingness to change ones mind or opinion…the willingness to listen with the entirety of our beings… the willingness to be open to new ideas or to be influenced by reason.   All too often our culture has come to view that openness as weakness or insincerity.

I believe that we are capable of better than that, that we could engage in constructive and productive dialogue about the issues raised by the Connecticut School Shooting, and all to many tragedies like it, while still respecting the solemnity of the moment and the grief of the families of the fallen and their communities.

There are those who will immediately think that I want to rip the guns out of everyone’s hands, not so much.

I will freely admit I don’t know much about guns. I’ve shot them a few times, pistol and rifle in a few target practices with family or friends. I don’t own one currently mainly due to budget concerns and the fact that I would want excellent instruction in gun safety, shooting, and maintenance before I had one in my home or hands.  But as someone who stands against 1 man 1 woman marriage laws because they seek to limit my potential for rights under the U.S. Constitution, can I honestly be willing to cast aside my potential for rights under the Second Amendment?

There are those, touched by a deep and genuine grief, who will not want to start these difficult conversations because they do not want to further or impinge upon the grief of others.

I am not a parent, and given income and age will probably never be one. I am an Uncle, and have been a family friend of a child…. a part of me asks, “What if one of them is next?”

I find myself thinking of the fallen, the dead, from this horrible event.  I posted the other day that the day the news broke, as I was listening to the news, I was making my regular Household and Ancestral offerings.  I also offered incense to the spirits of the dead in Connecticut.  I have never heard the voices of the Honored or Beloved or Mighty Dead… but I cannot help but think that at times like this They are a united chorus urging those of us who would honor Them to do something to end this!

What could hold more honor?  What could more exemplify the quest for excellence? Why should we not start the difficult work or trying to make the world a better and safer and happier and healthier place every damn chance we can?  Surely we can find ways to respect the solemnity of this moment and at the same time work to see that things like this become a historical anomaly?

Let us speak to how we can honor the fallen of the many massacres, honor our Ancestors, and Honor our Gods by bringing our values to bear on this plague of violence our society is facing.

Pax

Wishing I heard voices…

Yesterday, as I was listening to the news, I was making my regular Household and Ancestral offerings, and I also offered incense to the spirits of the dead in Connecticut… I have never heard the voices of the Honored or Beloved or Mighty Dead… but I cannot help but think that at times like this they are a united chorus urging those of us who would honor Them to do something to end this.

A prayer for Connecticut, and some questions.

Dear Friends,

A lot of folks posting on the most recent tragic shooting in Connecticut… lots of folks using or wanting to use it as a chance to put forward their views on gun control and/or the right to bear arms… and some criticizing President Obama for not using it as such…

There is a time for discourse, and a time for mourning and respectful silence.

May the newly dead find peace, reunion with Those Who Have Gone Before,

May the families and friends of the fallen find solace and healing,

May the Holy Powers bless them all in the fullness of time.

There is a lot of anger being expressed, and frustration, and grief.

I am not trying to condemn that anger. I understand that anger and frustration.

There is no doubt that there needs to be some deep and serious discussions about the fact that it is ten-thousand times easier for a troubled person to get a gun in the U.S., than it is for them to get access to mental and emotional health resources.

Grief is a complex thing and a tragedy like this happening at a time of year where, whatever our faiths, we are reminded of the Holiness of every life, of every child, of our families and beloved friends… it can stir up a lot of complicated emotions.

For me, I want to take some time to remember and honor the fallen. Take some time to contemplate the complex chain of events that can lead to these sorts of tragedies. THEN I want to encourage some serious and deep discussions of this complicated issue!

Even after posting my prayer and some of my thoughts, I have ended up getting into conversations about gun control, the right to bear arms, and the need for a much better mental health safety net in the United States…

Faith groups and people of faith can be reactive or proactive, indeed we can be both at the same time.   What can we as people of faith and faith groups do proactively to change things? I would agree with the idea that gun control is one piece of the puzzle… but what else needs to be done?

What can we do at the personal and local level as well as at the institutional level?

Pax

PS- This post will be edited over the course of the next several hours and few days as I am exposed to meaningful conversations, resources, and relevant blog posts from within the spectrum of the online Pagan and Polytheistic communities…I will also be re-posting something to The Pagan Values Blogject

Here are a couple of useful resources.  While aimed at parents of children, I think both of these are useful for all ages and combinations of family…

How To Talk To Your Kids About The Conn. Shooting, from NPR

Helping your children manage distress in the aftermath of a shooting, from the APA

Here are some responses from the Pagan blogosphere, some of which feature links to other responses and statements within our many interlinked Pagan and Polytheist communities…

KaliSara from Kali-Ma: The Dark Side of Parenting & Paganism writes about Tragedy and gun control.

The author of A Less Travelled Path links to her own post in School Shooting Atrocity.

Crystal Blanton shares her prayers in May The Gods Walk In Connecticut Tonight

Jason Pitzle-Waters, editor and correspondent for The Wild Hunt shares a few of the many Prayers in the Face of Unspeakable Tragedy.

Biblebelt Witch shares some prayers of her own in CT school shooting.